Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
