that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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