I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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