Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
