Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
