How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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