Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
