oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
