love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
