I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
