i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
