so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
