Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
