Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
