You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
