i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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