so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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