btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
