all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
