You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
