Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
