He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
