At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am naked and annoyed.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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