Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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