It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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