He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
