just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
