i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Me too!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
