Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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