do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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