I think my fart just growled at me.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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