Define "chronic" masturbator.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
