she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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