I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
bring money and cleavage
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
