end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
