make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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