He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
