I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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