is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize