Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
