What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize