Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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