literally had 100 drinks last night.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
