I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize