Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
