I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
