Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
