omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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