You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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