my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
