Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Quick, to the slutcave!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize