im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
