dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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