ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
