new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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