Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
