I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
