What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
