I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
