Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
