I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
