why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize