i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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