My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
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