He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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