guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize