i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it's like iHOP with fire
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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