i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
