Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize