I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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