apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And then my night got REAL pukey
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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