that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
