You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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