We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
