I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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