rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
