that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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