In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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