dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
