things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
