But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
