They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
