I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
