Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
