you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
