If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm always down for nudity.
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