and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
