He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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